Opening up to loss and grief if necessary, I believe it helps with the pain when you talk about it with someone, people tell you not to cry which to me is a big mistake, you just lost a loved one let them cry, it might be the best way to let some of that pain out. People say you have to be strong yes you do but at that moment you’re not because of the sorrow and pain your feeling. The strength will come to you once your pain has eased a bit then you will realize that they are resting and will always be with you in your mind and heart. You have to let the pain out somehow screaming, crying, or just plain talk. Never hold your feelings inside is not good for your heart.
Losing a loved one is never an easy experience, it’s a pain I don’t wish anyone I have lost close family members and not so close family members. The pain is different when you see someone all the time when you share special moments like birthdays, graduations, holidays, happy moments, and sad moments that pain of losing that person becomes greater that the pain you feel of losing someone whom you knew but weren't close with, barely saw that person but their loss still hurt, in these cases most people feel guilty that they didn't share time with that person or told them they cared and loved them.
I have lost a few loved ones in the past few years, My cousin Fanny Espinosa victim of the September 11, attacks was the first close family member I had ever lost and it was the hardest few weeks for the whole family, not only her loss but what happened. It was so senseless how people can be so cold blooded. So many innocent people died for no reason. For a while I was so sad, depressed and angry all at the same time. Today the pain has eased but she is not forgotten she is remembered along with all those other souls who lost their lives that day. (Read more about Fanny)
I lost a really good friend a few years back, Jean Carlos, he died in his sleep with just 20 years old. It was so sad and painful; it’s one of those deaths that you have no explanations as to why it happened. How can a young person full of life so funny and smart just die, for a while I was in shock because I couldn't believe it and after his funeral I was just sad but with time things got better and he is remember as the smart, funny, nice young man he was .
Out of all those I have lost and still affects me today more than I ever thought it would is Jalyn’s death. Most of you have already read her story and although she only lived four months she touched so many hearts. Her love and bravery captivated the hearts of all those around her. I still cry sometimes because I miss her and sometimes wonder what she would have looked like today, what her personality would be like, how much I would be spoiling her and how much she would be loved. I know it’s not healthy to think all this things but I can’t help it. Her life was cut short and when she died I was just plain sad for weeks, I couldn't even begin to imagine how my sister was feeling losing her little girl. Even though six years have passed sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday. (Read More about Jalyn)
I also lost my grandparents though they died years apart, but they were always so close like best friends they also lived in Dominican Republic their death was painful and sad. I had a long time without seeing them, but I spoke with them on the phone and always told them I loved them each and every time. (Read More)
The most resent one was my uncle he had throat cancer witch later spread to his brain sad story, he lived in Dominican Republic and I had over fifteen years without seeing him and that hurt so much the fact that I didn’t get to see him that I didn’t get to tell him I loved him, all I thought about was all the time I used to visit when I was young he would always make sure me and my sister were taken care off he used to pick us up from my grandparent’s house and was always there if we needed anything. So the fact that we grew apart so much was the part the hurt the most he will always be remembered and loved he was a great father, brother, uncle and friend.
I shared all this because I want you all to know that it does feel better when we talk and express our feelings about loss and I also want you all to know that I know how it feels to see someone slip from your hands not being able to say good bye is hard when you far apart but when your close saying goodbye is by far the hardest feeling ever just talking about it made me cry. We are all humans crying does not make a person weak it a way of expressing what you are feeling and it feels good to let it out. Please don’t drown in your pain is not a nice feeling believe me. If you’re the type of person that don’t cry then at least talk about it with someone you will feel better.
One more thing don’t let time drift you apart from those you love even if you’re not close with a family member always call them once in a while let them know you care and think of them. Those who are close to you grab on tight and don’t let them walk out that door without telling them you love them. Also don’t let a person walk out on you mad, forgive because you don’t know if that’s the last time you’ll see that person. Life is too short appreciate every second of it.
Thank you for reading any questions or if you need someone to listen you can always drop me a note in my contact page up above.